My approach to Couple’s Therapy:

I help couples become aware of how their behaviors impact their relationship with each other.  During the session, we begin to practice  new ways to communicate and behave, resulting in improved satisfaction within the relationship.

Couples who come to therapy are under the illusion that their marriage vows, from years ago, are going to protect them from the damage that their conflicts have on them.  My approach to couple’s counseling is to help people find more constructive ways to resolve disagreements and become more conscious of how their behaviors impact on them.

Stopping bad behavior is not enough, couples have to learn to replace them with positive ones, in order to cultivate qualities that will manifest in positive  attitudes towards each otheIt has been my observation, that most people turn off their conscious mind the minute they return to their family from the outside word; they go on “automatic pilot”. No longer  thinking before acting but behaving impulsively.  Often, repeating behaviors internalized from their family of origin.

I encourage couples to attend therapy sessions together. As the research shows, people who receive couple therapy, have better  chance to stay together than people who go to individual therapy.  

I don’t allow couples to argue with each other in session.  They should not waste their time and to do something they can do on their own. They should see the therapy office as a neutral space where they can practice new and constructive ways of being towards each other.  

One of the therapist’s task is to reconnect the couple to their original intention of creating a family that is an improvement from the one they grew up in. They want a family that can fulfill the emotional needs that were not met when they were children. 

Therapy should not be about revisiting old wounds.  If we do, we will continue to feel stuck in our own pain, making us lose hope that things will get better.  In my therapy process, we use the session to explore solutions, rehearse and practice new behaviors that can help us improve the relationship. 

The therapist does not hold the answer for the couple but is a coach, who can guide the partners in expressing behaviors and attitudes that can foster the growth of each person in a way that is mutually responsive to their needs and values.

We know from research that when we live in conflict with others, it can be a very stressful situation, bringing about depression and anxiety.  If couples don’t develop positive attitudes such as, acceptance, empathy, validation, soothing each other, etc. their relationships are going to disintegrate. 

I set a special time and day to provide couple therapy.  The sessions are longer than individual counseling and there is no insurance accepted for the service since it is not considered a medical necessity by the insurance companies.